Sabbatical

From the Latin, sabbaticus; a break or change from a normal routine; an extended absence from one's career to achieve something.  Lately I've been thinking of my transition time as a sabbatical.  I've actually had the idea of a sabbatical in my head for a while, perhaps to hike the Appalachian Trail with Laura, perhaps to play music again.  And now, true to life's mischievous and unpredictable nature, it happens that I'm going on Sabbatical in Boulder Colorado!  I think that's pretty cool.  It's actually helping me to think about this time off...to put some structure or definition around what I'll be doing with my life after Odyssey.  Which is how my brain works.  I need something to ground me in my head.  The thought of going to Boulder without a job, without immediate prospects is a little unsettling for a high achiever like me.  What shall I do with my time?  And the danger for me is that I would have no trouble finding something to fill a great deal of my time.  Another school administration job...a new career path...And I'd be right back in my "normal routine" of trying to accomplish grand things on a grand scale (because I can) at the expense of my soul's peace, my body's health, relationships, etc.

So this time is a gift and I'm beginning to see it that way.  I'm taking sabbatical.  I really like how that sounds.  And it's pretty much true, though I won't return to my normal routine afterwards.  But I will be taking an extended period of time away from my career to accomplish something else.  What a challenge for me!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch (Odyssey) I have been feeling somewhat marginalized, demoted, deflated recently, which I suppose is to be expected.  The transition from me to Bug as principal is not without casualties, my ego being one.  I'm trying really hard to let go of control (you try prying control away from my iron grip) but at the same time stay engaged.  It's becoming harder to see where I fit in.  I'm trying to do a really great job with teacher observations and reviews because that's my best opportunity to continue to add to the school right now.

When my dad was dying the hospice people gave us some small books to read about the dying process; these books were incredibly helpful and comforting as we went through this together...what to expect and when.  And interestingly, as I leave Odyssey I feel like I'm going through a type of death as well (not to be dramatic), the death of this crucially important and impactful chapter in my life.  And, like my dad, who began to disengage with life a couple months before he died, I feel like my heart and mind is drifting away a bit from Odyssey; I don't think about the school every waking (and dreaming) moment, I am backing off from day to day operations, I'm not part of making plans for the future...I haven't even been next door to see the new construction in a while.  I think it's all a necessary part of letting go.